radharc aislingeach (mildew) wrote in sexualadvice,
radharc aislingeach

Messy situation that's getting worse.

Friday night I slept with a good guy friend of mine. I've wanted to hook up with him for a while now, but since I'm not into one night stands, I never persued him. Friday he needed a ride home, and unknowingly to me my best friend had told him a few hours earlier that I liked him. He already knew this, we got drunk a few weeks ago and I started rambling. But anyways. I was driving him home and he started rubbing my thigh. I looked at him funny, because while we have been flirting with each other for over a month now, neither one of us had taken it so far as to touch the other in a sexual way. he asked me if I wanted him to stop and I told him not to. It continued on like this for another 10 minutes with his hand slowly slipping between my legs. To make this shorter and less X-rated, let's just say it's a good thing I didn't get pulled over because we would have gone to jail for public indencecy.

We casually talked throughout all of this and I told him how I had promised my best friend I wouldn't have sex with him tonight. He told me we didn't have to, and I told him that we were going to have sex. We decided that we would keep it between ourselves to keep Destiny (my best friend) off my back, because she plays momma to me sometimes. And that about twice a month we'd hook up and have some fun. Oh, the reason she didn't want me having sex with him yet is because I was a virgin. Granted I didn't act like one, and I've done a LOT with guys and girls, I'm bi and she's gay, just fyi. But I had just never had sex. Virginity is something I've never given much importance, I still don't. I don't regret what happened the other night, but I am confused. Keep reading....

I told him it was my first time with a guy and he just grinned and said something dirty. *ahem* We got to his place and had sex for about 30 minutes when he came early because of what had been happening in the car. We were going to go again when everything cooled down, but then he started coughing up blood. (He's been really sick for a few weeks and is on medicine for it but it still happens when he gets excited or angry). I massaged him for a while and we listened to music. He kept getting sick and since he had to be at work in an hour, I decided I should go. He didn't really want me to go, but said that he didn't want me having to be alone at his place all day. He walked me out and kissed me goodbye for a few minutes and we decided that we would hook up saturday night too.

I got to our bar saturday night and he was having to work securtity, so he was busy. He gave me a hug and acted like nothing was different. I wasn't expecting him to because I knew that neither one of us is looking for a relationship. We are fuckbuddies. But being a girl, the girl I promised I wouldn't turn into because it was my first time, I started freaking out that he didn't want to be around me. Turns out it wasn't the case because he was busy, several bar fights. I found him later on and asked him if we were ok, he hugged me and rubbed my back and said we were good. But I still couldn't shake that feeling. Again, unknowingly to me, Destiny cornered him and told him not to hurt me. She figured out what we had done when she saw me earlier in the day. He said he wouldn't. Then she told him it was my virginity and he said he didn't know that. Appearently he didn't realize "I've never been with a guy before" ment "Hey baby I'm a virgin!!" I started drinking when she told me. He and I spoke a few more time throughout the night, and I asked him if I was "taking him home" and he said no b/c his brother and baby cousin were with him. *RED FLAG ALERT* Guys never never turn down sex, right?! I mean I understand if they were spending the night with him in his one bedroom place, but I don't know if that's what he ment. Later, once I'm very smashed, we were standing next to each other and our boss at the bar was doing a body shot. Somehow the topic of his getting pantsed on the bar the week before came up and he was blushing. I rubbed him back and said he had nothing to be worried about, he has a nice dick and I knew first hand. He laughed and smiled a little at me. One other thing I forgot to mention, is that while we were doing it, he said I had the best pussy he had ever fucked. I laughed at him and told him he said that to everyone he fucked. He looked me in the eyes and told me he wasn't lying. He's never lied to me before and isn't a liar, but I'm still not sure if I should believe that. I mean yea, mine is virgin tight and his last two girlfriends had already had kids, so um not as tight as it could be. I just don't know.

Except for a few kisses on the cheek and a few hugs, we didn't have much contact. Which before we had sex that's how it was. So what I'm needing to know from people more experienced than me and have done this kind of thing before, is did he use me for the done night or does it seem like he wants us to continue on with our fuckbuddy plan and he really was tired and just didn't want to have sex. Granted at that point, because of how long I had stayed over the night before, he hadn't had but maybe 2 hours sleep in almost 48 hours. Am I over reacting and should I wait to see how things go on Tuesday night when I see him? Or should I start preparing myself for the worst. OHHH, I forgot the most important thing of all; earlier in the day on friday he had found out that his ex whom he hadn't spoken to in over a month had a miscarriage with his baby and had been four months pregnant, he didn't know she was pregnant at all. While we were lying in his bed afterwards and talking about out first loves, she was his, I asked him if that's why he needed to have sex tonight and he told me no.
Help me!
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please don't take this the wrong way... it certainly seems like he is ready to continue with this "fuck buddy" situation (read: NO RELATIONSHIP), but it also seems like you are not. i would take quite a few steps back and make sure that you are ready to handle this type of situation (read: NO RELATIONSHIP, no overthinking, no drama... think discreet and cool).
I definitely agree with what scotchgodiva said. Consider what your feelings are for this guy. It seems to me that you care about him more than you are willing to admit(most girls don't stick around when a fella starts coughing up blood.) If you do have strong feelings for him, I would really advise against getting involved with him as a fuckbuddy, trust me, I've done it before and its unbelievably frustrating.

If you are absolutely certain you have nothing but sexual feelings for him, it sounds as if he's interested, just be sure it's what you want, a fuckbuddy means just that, a buddy you fuck, you can't expect anything else from the relationship. Guys do actually turn down sex from time to time, and it sounds to me like he was just genuinely busy, he's also sick, so you can't expect too much of him for a while.

Also, I would warn you about kissing boys who cough up blood, it's just generally a bad idea. Wait 'till he's healthy before you jump his bones.